That book. Fifty Shades

Yeah, Yeah.  I know.  So much has been written about this trilogy.  Well, my tuppence worth goes like this.  After reading Fifty Shades of Grey ( purely for research purposes, you understand), I have come to the following conclusions.

The book is not that well written, but I can forgive that, afterall it did start out as an e-book!! Maybe the editor was the original writer and not geared for hardback press.  Who knows?

I also get why so many women would read it.  It is most certainly not a book for men.  It is a romp with oneself, and ones ideals, ones hang-ups about sex and most certainly a read that will likely cause a stirring in the loins at one time or another.  I do think it gives women permission to explore their sexuality a bit more and possibly experiment with self pleasure.

What it has got going for it ( considering it is being read by many thousands of women) is the message of “safe sex”. 10/10 for that.  I do not care how many repeats throughout the trilogy of “ripping open the foil” I read, that is a healthy message.

Next I would say the fact that there was an underlying connection, that blossomed into ‘love’, proving my point that women need to feel that emotional and heartfelt connection before a sexual romp.  Even if it is only in that specific moment, it needs to be there.

Lastly there may have been an even deeper message, possibly not intended, about women being in control!   The whole submissive thing, would rankle many, yet over the years women have paved the way becoming the controller of many aspects of their relationship.  In control of the home, the finances, when she has sex, in control of the upbringing of the children (primarily).  So maybe there was a mix of yearning from Ana (being the female) that wanted to be cared for, spoiled, and yes, submissive with her partner in order to feel totally secure with her female self.

On the down side I had a good laugh about one review I read,  that said the following.

“Then there’s the writing. If you take out the parts where the female character is blushing or chewing her lips, the book will be down to about 50 pages. Almost on every single page, there is a whole section devoted to her blushing, chewing her lips or wondering “Jeez” about something or another, not to mention one or the other rolling their eyes. Then there’s the use of “shades of”. He’s “fifty shades of @#$%% up,” “she turned 7 shades of crimson,” “he’s ten shades of x,y, and z.” Seriously?”

It is true and as I have not finished the trilogy I cannot say much more.  I am half way through the second book and really, bored.  Like more bored than ever.  So we will see whether or not I finish it.

Here’s another review that had me laughing out loud.  I am still smiling.  It is  hoot and spot on. Enjoy!

*UPDATE*: Thanks to the many other perturbed readers who have shared their own choices of the most annoyingly overused phrases in this masterpiece.

Following up on their suggestions with my ever-useful Kindle search function, I have discovered that Ana says “Jeez” 81 times and “oh my” 72 times.

She “blushes” or “flushes” 125 times, including 13 that are “scarlet,” 6 that are “crimson,” and one that is “stars and stripes red.” (I can’t even imagine.)

Ana “peeks up” at Christian 13 times, and there are 9 references to Christian’s “hooded eyes,” 7 to his “long index finger,” and 25 to how “hot” he is (including four recurrences of the epic declarative sentence “He’s so freaking hot.”).

Christian’s “mouth presses into a hard line” 10 times.

Characters “murmur” 199 times, “mutter” 49 times, and “whisper” 195 times (doesn’t anyone just talk?), “clamber” on/in/out of things 21 times, and “smirk” 34 times.

Christian and Ana also “gasp” 46 times and experience 18 “breath hitches,” suggesting a need for prompt intervention by paramedics.

Finally, in a remarkable bit of symmetry, our hero and heroine exchange 124 “grins” and 124 “frowns”… which, by the way, seems an awful lot of frowning for a woman who experiences “intense,” “body-shattering,” “delicious,” “violent,” “all-consuming,” “turbulent,” “agonizing” and “exhausting” orgasms on just about every page.

You just gotta love Kindle and guess what?  Mine arrived today.  I am so excited!

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