There has been a lot of focus from time to time about bullying. Even the media cashes in, by showing mobile phone videos taken by kids as they film the bullied and those who kick, punch, jeer and cause torment.
I feel there is as much need for understanding for the bullied as well as for those that bully. There is something about this act that denotes, hear me, see me, look at me, I want attention…. I want to been seen and heard. I want a voice.
Sure, I agree to be a bully is not a functional way to be heard. Energetically the person being bullied must have some sort of magnetic attraction that brings the bully into their experience. They too need to be heard and seen and have a voice.
I was told that there was tacher who in his science class held a competition amongst his students to see who could hold dry ice the longest. the outcome was 3rd degree burns to several of the students hands as a result of the contact with the dry ice.
Stupid? Of course.
Irresponsible? You bet.
A way to get ‘ back’ at the students? Possibly.
A type of bullying? Food for thought.
What about this?
My grandson is an amazing 13 year old. He is very clever academically, very focussed when he is interested in something. He always has been. It is not often you hear about (or see on TV) a five year old riding a little Honda motor cycle with the Crusty Demons and bringing the crowd to its feet as he races towards mounds of dirt and takes his bike over jumps and races around the track.
When he was interviewd on TV, I remember the interviewer holding up a drawing he had done of riding a bike over jumps. She asked ” Do you want to be a champion when you grow up?” This little 5 year old answered, ” I AM a champion motor bike rider ”
My grandson needs to be kept occupied, he is very active. At 13 the bikes have gone, surfing has taken over and he rises at 5.30am, goes surfing until 7am, heads back home, changes into his uniform, grabs breakfast and is gone to school for the day. He has an enquiring mind (which can drive you mad), always wants to understand things, will get very cross if he is not heard, does not like being talked over and is very adult in the way he can hold his own in a conversation. He gets bored at school if he finishes the work too quickly and like any kid gets in to trouble if he talks and acts up while waiting for the rest of the class to catch up. He is also very sensitive, and very comfortable giving his parents and grandparents cuddles and saying ” I love you”.
Last week, it seems he got on the wrong side of his Japanese teacher once too often. The teacher announced to the entire class, he was the most annoying student in the entire school. She made him set apart from the others. The next day he rushes into the class (forgets he is supposed to be sitting somewhere else) sits down and gets bawled out for not following her orders, and receives detention.
What would have been more appropriate , was to have said ” John, remember you are supposed to be sitting over there, can you move please”. Issue dealt with.
She then reminds the class of how annoying ‘John’ is, and proceeeds to ask them to take a piece of paper and write down on it who they think the most annoying kid in their class is. These are handed in, and of course all the kids pay ‘John’ out big time, laughing and teasing him about being annoying.
Result? The students had just received a classic lesson in bullying…. from their teacher no less!!
It seems to me this woman, as a teacher, is past her best. As an adult you think she would have more self control. Phone calls to my daughter were loaded and filled with contempt. Funny thing is, I do not think for one minute this female teacher realises who she is dealing with. As for my grandson, well, when asked about how he felt, he mentioned feeling embarrassed, then angry.
As another friend put it, this grandson of mine is very possibly being courageous enough to create this episode to precipitate awareness for change? Even detention and other punishments are so archaic in this day and age!! 18th Century thinking!!
Maybe it is the teacher, herself, who should be put in detention, making the space for her to really think about her appalling actions.