Flames flicking higher and higher, there I was standing at the ready with tongs in hand. Pages and pages of frustration, pain, hurt, anger, devastation and depletion poured onto the pages I watched going up in smoke!
What a feeling. Yes!
Anyone ever do this??
I have a mentor who lives in WA who a wise sage. She taught me years ago to deal with aspects of my tumultuous life by writing onto blank pages or an exercise book, all the wrath and pain and anger built up inside of me and to get it out. Akin to going to the loo she reckons! Get that shit out! She told me it was a functional and less harmful way of dealing with what is going on than dumping on someone else.
Whoops! Big fail there!
She is right. Write your rage onto a page! This is also known as the ‘fuck you’ letter.
Here are guidelines for writing a FU letter:
- Find a quiet space, no distractions.
- Write by hand NOT on the computer.
- Take a couple of big, deep breaths and tune in to acknowledging ‘why you are angry’, ‘who you are angry at’ – that will be enough to get you started.
- Do not edit your writing. No spelling corrections, punctuation, re-writing. This is about streaming … just let it roll all out of your head and onto the page.
- Start with: Dear (who you are angry with), Fuck you for …. and fuck you for … and fuck you for that too – keep going and going even if you think of someone else you want to include write; and fuck you too (name) for …
- Be specific about the incident.
- Be specific about the feelings, really tune into as many as you can. DIG DEEP.
- Don’t JUDGE what you have written.
- Destroy it. Don’t keep it. This is you dealing with your anger, shifting it and moving on. (Just like flushing the toilet). I like to burn mine and I make a little ritual out of offering the energy to the Universe to dissipate.
- Repeat when necessary.
I am so blessed, to have my wonderful, wise mentor in my life. Normally, I would have always said, “Don’t read the letter, burn it, move on.”
Today my wise sage spent time helping, guiding and showing me the hidden messages for me in one of my anger/FU letter’s (yes, there are a few), I had written. Her process helped me get to MY TRUTH. The process helped me understand no one else’s stories or judgements mattered. If I was prepared to be really honest with myself, then what I wrote, when read to myself (using my name) offered interesting insights into what my ‘monkey mind’ continually tells me, also how I feel about aspects of my life and how I can consciously, with awareness, lighten my load and become more understanding of myself and clearer about what works for me and what doesn’t. Some beautiful messages in them there words!
This includes having healthy boundaries. By golly, do any of us have that one sorted? I was at a Women’s Breakfast Meetup, not so long ago and the Guest Speaker spoke of each of us having a garden in front of us (metaphorically). To imagine this hold your arms in a circle on front of you. In the garden are beautiful blooms, lovely greenery and the bees and butterflies abound. When we become too busy to tend (water) our own garden, it dies and become withered and full of weeds. This usually happens because we are too busy cutting, watering and pulling up flowers of someone else’s garden! If we stayed within our own boundaries and tended to our own garden, we would flourish!
Food for thought ! When I love myself enough …..